I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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