I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
