my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
