That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
