heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week đ
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes âI drove you last nightâ\nâYou got your dick sucked in the back seatâ
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