every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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