fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
pop tarts are not kleenex
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
