i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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