its not stalking. its research.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
