i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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