this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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