i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
