Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
