"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
