This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Sorry about my life...
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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