it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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