where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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