He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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