btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
