I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
