operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
