I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
