someone threw a dead crab at me
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You pole danced in your parka.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
