PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
