their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
