glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
