Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
