He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
