i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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