even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
