he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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