how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
