dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
