there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
