i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
