The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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