So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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