I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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