ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
soo... how was my night?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
