I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
