My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
