i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Randomize
