He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You can't just leave with hair like that
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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