Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i love accidental penises.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
