I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
