Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
