I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
