clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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