Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
