if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
