is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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