He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
